“I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you’re on it.” -Johnny Depp

It's likely that all you fans out there thought this pitiful JDOCD victim had just wafted off into Neverland, never to return. Nah...it just took me that long to recover from that interview on BRAVO. Me thinks it might be time to peel meself off the floor and get on with me daily lust. (Not that I HAVEN'T been doing that on a regular basis.)

During these past 4 months, while enveloped in this lust induced coma of deep spiritual contemplation, I’ve come to an enlightening discovery. I have found the answer to the creationism vs. evolution debate:

Johnny Depp is the MAN that God created “in His own image.” All other men evolved from apes. (WOMAN, of course, came from Johnny’s rib, not the ape’s.)